Friday, September 2, 2011

My Idol: Fuller McCallister

My dream is to one day write, direct, and produce Home Alone. 5--the movie that could've and should've come between Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. It starts out just like Home Alone--every scene is exactly the same--but instead of following Kevin McCallister and all his shenanigans, it's about Fuller, Kevin's cousin/the most compelling character in the movie, and whatever was going on with him during the time that Kevin was alone in his home. 


Fuller McCallister is my idol because he wears suspenders and because he has fly hair, but mostly because he never, ever goes easy on the Pepsi. He knows drinking Pepsi before bedtime is just going to make him pee all over the place and he knows that everyone knows this about him, but he doesn't care. He hits that Pepsi hard and fast. Fuller hits that Pepsi like a champ. There's a lesson to be learned there, my friends. A lesson about Pepsi and how you should never go easy on it. 


In another world, Fuller and I are BFF. We devote whole evenings to not going easy on Pepsi. 
After these marathon Pepsi binges, we inevitably slip into a sugar induced quasi coma and end up peeing all over the hide-a-bed...
and Kevin. 


It's really gross, I know. But what are you gonna do? Go easy on the Pepsi? Yeah right. When I die, my headstone will read: Here lies Amber. She did not go easy on the Pepsi. Her pee was bright yellow and globular.


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Can this song please be my ringtone? 

11 comments:

Lorraine said...

Have you ever seen the movie Dead Alive? Because there is a dude in there that has neon colored pee, just like you and your BFF Fuller. I was reminded of this.

Also, I'm going to be singing, "Fuller go easy on Pep.." all day long. So, thanks!

Lor

Munk said...

Yours has become my comfort blog.
Damn you funny.

Megs said...

Fuller was the under appreciated star of that movie for really real. How do you not love someone who truly couldn't care less what anyone else thinks even if what they think is that they don't want to share a bed with him because he pees? Fuller was an inspiration to the weirdos everywhere.

dbs said...

You are one-of-a-kind awesome.

Jackson Bee said...

You have entertained me with your passionate love of Fuller McCallister. I thank you, please drop by and be entertained by my passionate distaste for Scooby Doo, for it is all I have to offer in return.

Kayleigh said...

I now have a new love for Fuller McCallister. As many times as ive seen this movie i have always overlooking his awesomeness.

RA said...

hahaha :> this is sooo coool :D

ali said...

I love this! I laughed out loud when you described Fuller as "compelling." Funny!!

K Chang said...

Hahahahaha. That is all.

Sammy V said...

Love the illustrations!

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