Friday, April 23, 2010

Crayon Drawings of Weird Moments in History

Apparently you're supposed to trade in your crayons for colored pencils when you turn 12. It's like some unofficial coming of age moment. But I like crayons. I like the way they feel in my hand. I like the black crayon and the red crayon and how they're always stubby and impossible to use. I like the way crayons smell. I like to call crayons "crayolas" even when they aren't crayola brand because the word "crayola" sounds exotic and sophisticated and makes me feel like an aristocrat. 


Why are colored pencils more socially acceptable than crayons? What's so adult about them? If anything, they promote racial insensitivity and political-incorrectness. I mean, shouldn't it be "Pencils of Color"? Or, "Polychromatic-Pencil-American"? Well, I'm a crayon proponent and also a history enthusiast. I've combined the two passions and now you get this:









26 comments:

Georgina said...

Oh that was FUNNY! I was excited just to know that another adult likes crayons too but then the drawings had me in stitches! Fortunately, I never saw the Tom Green moment, but I hate him anyways. He's an embarrassment to Canadian comedy as far as I'm concerned.(We're very smug and elitist up here about our brand of homegrown humour.) - G

soft nonsense said...

lolz.

I actually HATED coloring of any sort as a younger - I was bad at it (which is totally possible btw) and after I was done drawing I didn't want to mess up my masterpieces. Plus I probably just got ADD'd out.

Megs said...

Oh, wow, that was awesome. Like I may have to print them out and hang them in my cubicle for those awful days when I need a laugh awesome.

Sadako said...

LURV it! Cracking up here. I can't believe George Lucas thought that would be funny. Or even acceptable. Was it his homage to Mickey Rooney's horribly racist Asian caricature in Breakfast at Tiffany's?

Johana Hill said...

Your illustrations are awesome. Last time I used crayons was when my niece was over with her color book. We were fighting over coloring...LOL

No One Reads The Copy said...

LOVE THIS! Nice drawings. You've got skills.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I loved these! Do more! Do more! (because it's all about me.) Hee!

Jerry said...

Those are just freaking awesome!!

RMb said...

hahahaha this is great!! i agree with the veg assassin: do more!!

nikki said...

Love it! One of your best posts yet. The commentary about Clinton playing the sax, brilliant! I always hated drawing as a kid - I sucked at it. For some reason I keep pushing crayons on my son, but he's showing about as much interest as I had.

That Kind of Girl said...

You. Are. AWESOME.

The Tom Green drawing is now the desktop of my computer. Also, I think about the Bum Bum Song more than is strictly appropriate (like, uh, ever?) and am so jazzed to see it immortalized in this form.

Fear Street said...

Sweeeeeeeeeet.

I miss my extra large box of Crayola.

Pat Tillett said...

I wish I had that kind of talent.
great drawings and great post!

Heather Taylor said...

For real with the colored pencils. I mean, nobody names a colored pencil Macaroni 'n Cheese or Tickle Me Pink. All hail crayons!
Your pictures are brilliant, I completely forgot about Bill Clinton and the sax.

Powdered Toast Man said...

those are great pictures!!

Thank you for your sweet comment. It put a big smile on my face and then I whispered into Nicole's ear that I loved her.

Amiee said...

Hilarious, as usual. Go the mighty crayolas!

Sammy V said...

So that's what was happening to me during Titanic...

Tina K said...

This is great. I still have crayons too--I bought a ton of them when I was in college, so my friends and I could take innocent coloring book pictures and turn them perverted.

And yeah, Tom Green. Remember when there was a fire at his house? That was when he was with Drew Barrymore. And when he had testicular cancer? Even more weird.

The Urban Cowboy said...

OMG! You are crazy hilarious! Just stumbled onto your site, and like the Terminator says..."I'll be back!"

meyerprints said...

http://art-deco-odyssey.blogspot.com/

Christina In Wonderland said...

If my history class was taught this way I'd never fall asleep again! I love you in that completely not-weird way that I always tell people but is really that weird way that will make me stalk you and make you never want to sleep with a light off again kind of way. *blink* *blink*

Whoops. You weren't supposed to know that.

Another David said...

I agree. Far too few are brave enough to try different mediums. Love the drawings, and James Cameron is definitely an ass.

Amber said...

Thanks to everyone who said they liked the drawings. I'm kind of a crappy artist but I appreciate your kindness.

Georgina: Almost all of my favorite comedians are Canadian. Luckily, Tom Green was only famous for a short time and I don't think he damaged your country's comedic reputation too much.

Softnonsense: I can't believe you don't love coloring! I, clearly, enjoy it immensely but I'm not that great at it. (I got put into kindergarten like 6 months too early and my motor skills hadn't developed yet. I couldn't color in the lines, use scissors very well, or fold a piece of paper so that the corners matched up.)

Sadako: I don't know what the hell George Lucas was thinking. He can be such a weirdo sometimes. And Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's is one of my favorite racial caricatures, meaning it's one of the most horrifying.

Nikki: Don't give up on crayons! I'm certain that they will enrich your son's life.

TKOG: Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. I showed it to my boyfriend and he just shrugged. After I finish writing this sentence I'm going to go put my bum on the Swedish...Swedish...

Tina K: Yeah I remember the fire and the cancer. I also remember this strange episode of Saturday Night Live when he and Drew Barrymore said that they were going to get married at the end of the episode.

Urban Cowboy: Thank you so much for visiting!

meyerprints: my first spam comment...YES!

Christina: Haha! Thanks. Stalkers are cool. People say they hate them and take out restraining orders and whatnot, but everyone secretly wants one or two.

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

These are awesome! You're quite the artist! Are you planning on making more?

Kelli said...

1. I'm very impressed with your Binks drawing.

2. I used to play with my crayons like barbies. They lived in crayon cities, got married, and sometimes even had crayon babies (when a crayon broke, of course).

3. I am now following you. The blog, I mean. That came out more ominous than I intended.

The Mad Hatter said...

Your drawings are AWESOME!!!