Friday, October 31, 2014

Blogging Really Pumps My Nads

You see us as you want to see us—in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a Leprechaun, and a Cap’n, a Silly Rabbit, a 17th-century Quaker, and a Tiger. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

(Back from blogging sabbatical. Oh, and I know this isn't tumblr but I just learned how to make gifs in photoshop. Happy Halloween.)

Sunday, March 30, 2014

How I Live My Life

So, for the past decade or so, but especially the past couple of months, I've been suffering from hardcore mental anguish. Just struggling internally, like, all the time. These feelings were oppressive and relentless and I didn't know what I was going to do...until today when I bought Uno Mod, the sleek 21st century version of the classic multi-colored, Spanish-language card game.

You see, I used to have the crappy, archaic version of Uno but was always super depressed whenever I played the game or even just looked at/thought about the stack of cards. "This shit is not smooth as ice," I'd say to myself dejectedly. Those cards were totally incompatible with my way of life and it was stressing me out. But then I went to Target today, saw Uno Mod, and was like, "yes! Finally, there's a version of Uno that fits my lifestyle!" Already, my anxiety has melted away and I just can't stop thinking about how red hot this new Uno case is going to look on the living room table. Or maybe I'll buy a display case for it. I don't know, I haven't decided yet.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

I wrote a book. A legit book. That you can, like, own. And read.

OK, so first, here's a picture of me relaxin' with a bunny. 
And second, I wrote a book. It's called Did I Do That? and it looks like this...

Part of the reason why I wasn't really blogging last year was because I was busy writing this book. It's about your favorite decade: the '90s! And if you have money you can buy it and read it and love it and then years and years from now be buried with it or pass it down to your great-grandchildren as a family heirloom (or "earloom," which is what I used to think people were saying when they said "heirloom").

One page of the book looks like this...

Another page looks like this...

And the book comes with an Urkel T-shirt transfer.

I don't want to hype it too much because I'm a humble person but it's the best book you'll ever read. Seriously, though, it's fun and if you like this blog then I'm sure you'll be into it. 

Click HERE if you're in a book-buying mood. But if you're broke, no hard feelings. I totally understand.

On a more sentimental note, it was through this blog that I found my writing voice and it was your thoughtful/hilarious/supportive comments that really gave me the confidence to continue to develop that voice. So, you, person reading this right now, played a huge role in the creation of this book. Thank you! 

Monday, March 25, 2013

How to Replicate the "Julia Stiles Cardigan Head Wrap" Look from 'Save the Last Dance'

There's a scene in Save the Last Dance where Kerry Washington's industrious character takes Julia Stiles from corny to fly just by tying a GAP cardigan sweater around her head--it's cinema's quickest and most successful makeover. 
A month ago, I decided to stop straightening my hair (at least for a little while). The decision is both a response to the sorry state of my coif (split ends, dryness, breakage, etc.) and Justin Timberlake's recent renunciation of his curly hair--while JT may have abandoned his brethren and sisthren for the carefree life of the straight-haired, I stand in solidarity with the curly-haired. For me, one consequence of this lifestyle change is that styling my hair has become pretty time consuming. Looking for a fast, easy way to deal with this, I remembered Save the Last Dance and the cardigan head wrap. After practicing the technique a couple of times, I finally got it down. Here's a simple "how to" guide.

Drape a cardigan over your head. (I used a thin sweater but if it's cold outside you might want one made of thicker material--lambswool, mohair, et al.). Swirl the the loose fabric around your head.

And voilá! Not only is this a simple solution to your hair woes, you'll now be able to blend in with the crowd at the urban dance club of your choice.