Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Top 4 Childhood Anxieties

I was a nervous little kid. But the things that caused me the most anxiety were pretty specific--nothing abstract like monsters or ghosts--and almost always really, really stupid (of course). Most of the things that made me nervous back then still make me nervous today.

4. Freddy Krueger attacks while I’m on toilet

This happens in one of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, though I can’t remember which. I’m sure that Freddy Krueger’s teenage victims were killed in all sorts of terrifying and creative ways but this is the only one that I am able to recall because this is the only one that had any kind of impact on me. I suppose it seemed the most feasible. 

3. The People Under the Stairs

I didn’t think that there were any people living under my stairs, nor did I think that any of the events that transpired in the movie were ever going to happen to me. But The People Under the Stairs managed to scare me so thoroughly that the mere mention of the movie made me tense.  

2. Talking pigs

I’m not a fan of anthropomorphized animals in general--it’s really unnecessary--but talking pigs in particular make me uncomfortable. When I was growing up there seemed to be an abundance of these unnatural creatures. Babe, Porky the Pig, Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web, Gordy. Reading Animal Farm when I was older only made matters worse. 

1. Willy Wonka as portrayed by Gene Wilder
There are a lot of inappropriate undertones in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory but as a kid Willy Wonka made me nervous because of this (obviously):

and because of his hair. There was just something really creepy about his hair. Oddly enough, I wasn’t at all weirded out by the Oompa-Loompas. They actually seemed pretty dope.


I Really Suck At This said...

That part of the Willy Wonka boat ride where the chicken's head gets chopped off is seriously horrifying. The first time I saw it I cried, and I still have to fast forward that part today.

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit said...

The People Under the Stairs is seriously terrifying.

There's a great band called People Under the Stairs, but I still have problems listening to them because of their name!


:runs and hides:

nikki said...

The most worrisome thing about Willy Wonka is that he is obviously using the Oompa Loompas as slave labor. And even as a little kid, I wondered if he paid the Oompa Loompas.

Some kids are worried about Freddy Kreuger. Others worry about fair wages for midgets.

ale8oneboy said...

My wife was scared of Alf as a kid. Don't ya think he's cute and cuddly?

Pana said...

I wish you wrote every blog. That would make my days infinitely more enjoyable.

Sadako said...

I really suck at this--so true! I felt the same way about that chicken!

Angie said...

Omg I have one to add... did you ever read the Dr Seuss book "The Pale Green Pants"? That scared the shit out of us as kids... because they had nobody inside them! AAHHH!!!

Sally-Sal said...

When I heard the "Unsolved Mysteries" theme, it was diahrrea-inducing.

Kylee said...

I still fast forward that entire scene.

And the scene where Veruca is dropped into a furnace what the eff is that about. All I could think about was her funeral and how upset her mother was going to be.

PS Charlie is such a douche. who's with me?

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