Wednesday, August 11, 2010

My Buddy He-Man Agreed to Guest Post, Y'all! Also, I've Decided to Incorporate "Y'all" into My Vocabulary

I've been super busy lately. Two days after I got home from Comic-Con, I was on another plane to New Orleans for a family vacation. I've also been writing a book. It's an illustrated memoir about some of the world-class naps I've taken and a few of the more memorable burritos I've consumed over the past 26 years. As a result of all of this, I've been neglecting ye olde nostomanic (yes, I just linked to the site you're already reading) and haven't been able to comment on your blogs as much as I would've liked. I hope y'all can find it in your hearts to forgive me for this. My love for each and every one of you burns with the intensity of a thousand forest fires and I'm certain that things will be back to normal in the next couple of days. Luckily, I was able to get one of my oldest and dearest friends to guest post. Some know him as Prince Adam, others, He-Man, but to me, he'll always be my darling Heemsie. Here's the text message convo that led to the post you're about to read:

If you decide to leave a comment after reading this, I'd ask that you direct it to He-Man. 

Because he wrote the post. 


But if you just want to say "what's up" to me then that's cool too.

Since my adventures in Eternia--defending the secrets of Castle Grayskull, fighting the evil forces of Skeletor, wearing loincloths, etc.--are already well documented, I thought that I'd use the opportunity that Amber has given me here to share a side of myself that most people aren't familiar with. 

Now, I do have a certain amount of notoriety, but I assure you, I'm normal. Yes, I'm a prince. Yes, I have fabulous secret powers and futuristic abdominal muscles, but I'm just a guy, you know? I put my skin tight, lavender pants on one robust leg at a time. Just like you. 

When I'm back home in Eternia, I'm usually engaged in some sort of battle. It's annoying, it's stressful, it's my life. Whatareyagonnado? But from time to time, I'm able to visit Earth and when that happens, I always make a special effort to see Amber. She's good people. But I don't think that I have to tell any of you that. LOL! What I enjoy most about going to Amber's house in California is that I can just relax. The trip is never about sightseeing or anything touristy. My twin sister will usually come out there with me and we all just hang. It's very mellow, very low key, but still very, very fun. So I thought I'd show you what I do when I'm kicking back.

First of all, I'm a big reader. But the books that we have in Eternia are primarily about mythology, ancient lore, that sort of thing. There was no Eternian postmodern artistic movement and we don't have any contemporary fiction writers or anything like that. The first time I came to Earth, I discovered Raymond Carver, became a big fan, and often start off my days by reading a few of his short stories. (I'm also really into Anton Chekhov, Junot Diaz, Michael Chabon, and David Foster Wallace).

Reading always inspires me to work on my own stories. So I tend to run to the computer after finishing a book.
I don't think that being He-Man and being a writer are mutually exclusive and my dream is to be published in The New Yorker. As motivated as I am to achieve that goal, half of writing is procrastination and after finishing a few sentences, I'll usually start taking Photo Booth pictures of myself on my MacBook and experimenting with the different effects. 
Once I've gotten that out of my system, though, I'll hammer out a couple of paragraphs on whatever story I'm working on and reward myself by going to the beach--which is only a few blocks away from Amber's house. 
She-Ra, my sister, likes to lie out on the sand and tan, so she'll come with me. 
When we get back to Amber's place, I'll either chill with her battlecat, LJ...
...or roll around in money.
I know that you're all in the middle of a recession, so it might be difficult for some of you to look at a picture of me surrounded by so many $1 and $5 bills but the Eternian dollar to American dollar exchange rate is unreal (1 ED = 2,000 USD). It's a really good time for interplanetary-cross dimensional travel. 

And that's really it. My day in a nutshell. Nothing too remarkable but I hope you enjoyed the photos. I definitely found this experience to be moving and, if time permits, may start a blog of my own. But actually, I probably won't do that. 


lalalalauren said...

Haha! This is hilarious. I <3 you, He-Man!

The Shanner of Attention said...

YES! very very funny. :) He-man rocks.

Megs said...

I love you, He-Man. Tell She-ra I said hey, and I hope we've moved past that whole misunderstanding. I wasn't trying to single white female her that year I never took off the She-Ra costume; it's just that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Or something. I just love you guys so, so much.

dailydinosaur said...

Adam, have you ever run into Skeletor during your travels to/on our planet? Or any of your other foes like Beast Man or Tri-Klops? I'm just wondering if you guys are able to bury the hatchet, once you've left Eternia, and go do some karaoke singing or something. I actually ran into Two-Bad once, while I was on a ski trip in Vermont... terriblly awkward on a snowboard, but seemed to be a pretty nice guy(s) in general.

Anyway. Great post. You certainly are lucky to have Amber as a friend.

Big fan,
Robert B.

TabithaVenasse said...

Dear He-man;

I was wondering where you had gone after disappearing from my past.

Now that I know where you are again, I feel a sense of calm, knowing you are in good hands. If anyone could make sure you stay alive, it is Nostomanic.

Also, if you ever need a copy-editor for your book, please let me know. I've come a long ways from the dirt-eating, play-doh playing kid you knew me as.

Margaret said...

Hell yes!

Next, Adora guest post!


Margaret said...

I mean. Um.

Dear He-Man,

Next time, can your sister guest post?

Also, tell Orko I said "Sup?"


Prince Adam of Eternia said...

lalalalauren: LOL! I, He-Man, <3 you back!

Shanner of Attention: You rock and don't ever let anyone tell you different.

Megs: Thank you. I love you as well. And truth be told, She-Ra's a bit of a narcissist and I wouldn't be surprised if she got off on you dressing like her.

Robert: Skeletor does occasionally visit Earth, we have been on the planet at the same time, unfortunately, though, we've just gone through so much at this point that it would be impossible for the two of us to ever hang out casually. It's sad, really, and I wish things were different but c'est la vie. You're Two-Bad story is delightful. I wish I'd been there to see that.

TabithaVenasse: I am with you always. xoxoxo

Margaret: I will definitely pass your "sup" on to Orko. He's a big fan of your blog, so he'll love that. Amber says that she'd like to my sister guest post. We'll just have to see if she can fit it into her schedule.

Boonsong said...

He looks to be having a great time on the beach....
Quirky post. I enjoyed it. Thanks.

All the best, Boonsong

nikki said...

He-Man, it's amazing that you can be Master of the Universe and still have the time to remain such a good friend to Amber. I had no idea about the writerly side of you, and I must say, I'm impressed. If you're ever in the fine state of Maryland, I'd love to have you for a visit and we can talk about all things Michael Chabon.

Tell Amber that she's welcome to come as well.

Georgina Dollface said...

Oh that was beautiful, He-Man. You made my day. Please start a blog of your own. The world needs more plastic men in purple tights. - G

Prince Adam of Eternia said...

Boonsong: I love to beach it up.

Nikki: The power to multitask is one of the gifts that the Sorceress of Castle Grayskull bestowed upon me. And if I'm ever in Maryland I will take you up on your offer.

Georgina: Thank you for your kind words. I don't know that I'll start a blog of my own but if Amber is up for it, I may do more guest posting.

icedjasminetea said...

That was just fantastic! Haha. Great guest post!

Ashley R said...

Awesome post! To He-Man: Loving that your computer background is from Despicable Me. Amazing (and fluffy!).

Amber: what's up!

TbR said...

So, He-Man, you and Amber are pretty close. Have you let her into any of the secrets of Castle Grayskull?

Prince Adam of Eternia said...

Ashley: Thank you and yes, I'm quite fond of all things fluffy.

TbR: She knows a few secrets but none of the really big or important ones.

Christina In Wonderland said...

I now understand a completely different side of you, He-Man.

You are for shiz my new Idol.

Do you sing? Maybe you should try out for American Idol. I'm sure you'd win.

***But on a serious note, Amber, "y'all". You're so much better than that word. I'm Southern and even I HATE that word. For shame. Plus, I LOL'd my freaking face off here in the middle of the library. Damn you. :P ***

MJenks said...

I know I'm kind of late to the party, but, Heemsie...your sister is either using the wrong kind of tanning chemicals on her lower legs and feet or she's hitting the beaches with a severe case of frostbite.