Monday, November 30, 2009

Essay Question #1

Disregarding all personal indiscretions, is Hugh Grant a douche? Why or why not? Use at least one specific example.

Yes, he is and if one were to disagree then one should consider this: He graduated from Oxford University.

Of course, I don’t mean to imply that anyone who attends Oxford or Cambridge or even any of the prestigious American Ivy League universities is a douche. (There are probably several douches at each and every one of these universities but that’s more about the law of douche averages than anything else.) I’m simply saying that those who are granted admission to these esteemed institutions are exceptionally bright. (Or in some cases dumb and exceptionally wealthy. But I think one can ignore this comfortless reality when it comes to Hugh Grant because my extensive research (Wikipedia) reveals that he graduated from Oxford with honors.)

One can and should forgive an actor’s appearance in a mediocre movie like Two Weeks(’) Notice if that actor is of moderate intellect or perhaps some sort of mid-level, working-class celebrity, living paycheck to paycheck. But Hugh Grant has absolutely no excuse. He’s a movie star, without question, and when his agent handed him that Two Weeks(’) Notice script Grant undoubtedly thought, Ka-ching (or whatever sound British cash registers/tills make). Therefore, it is my contention that Hugh Grant is a douche because he willingly contributes to global mediocrity.

One could argue that Grant has been in a few pretty great, genre defining romantic comedies. Yet movies like Four Weddings and a Funeral and Notting Hill, simply show that he’s capable of picking out decent roles even within his chosen niche, and prove that Mickey Blue Eyes is the product of Grant’s particular brand of douchery.

In conclusion, Hugh Grant is smart, perhaps diabolically so, and every formulaic, sub-par movie he lends his hug(h)e mega-star name to is the cinematic equivalent of the finger or that weird, backward peace sign that British people do.

6 comments:

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit said...

When I first moved to the States, *everyone* kept telling me "Ooooh, you're just like Hugh Grant!"

No I'm bloody not! If anything was going to make me do the "two fingered salute" to someone, that was it!

So, if you ever want to irk me, just say "Ooooh, you're just like Hugh Grant!"

Mind you, I do wish I had his bank balance.

Amber said...

Yeah, Hugh Grant is like the only English guy that Americans know about. And Hugh Laurie. We're big on Hughs.

nikki said...

Hey Amber, I gave you a rec on my most recent blog post. Hope that's OK! Love your blog.

Hugh Grant - eh. I go back and forth between douchey and not. I'll have my moments where I think he's not, then I see Colin Firth and it reminds me how very douchey Hugh Grant is by comparison.

Amber said...

Thanks Nikki!

Sadako said...

He might be a douche but he's just so damned cute! I hate myself for wanting him more than Colin Firth in the Bridget Jones movies.

Amber said...

I don't know, Colin Firth is quite the dreamboat in that movie.