Thursday, December 3, 2009
Mmm...tastes like people
This is what it says on the back of the Alive DVD case:
“Witness Alive—the thrilling true-life adventure of challenge and survival! In this action packed hit, a team of tough rugby players survive a plane crash deep in the desolate, snow-covered Andes Mountains. Stranded there, they must overcome incredible odds to stay alive! See for yourself the unforgettable story of ordinary young men who find courage in the face of disaster and test the very limits of human endurance! It’s an astonishing death-defying triumph that will both entertain you…and inspire you!”
Excluding the gratuitous use of exclamation marks, what’s most bizarre about this blurb is that it makes no reference to the ONLY reason why this movie is memorable. Alive isn’t about a “team of tough rugby players” who crash in the Andes and “overcome incredible odds.” Alive is about some guys who eat some other guys.
I saw this movie a little over ten years ago and right now I’m racking my brain and can’t remember a single plot point that doesn’t revolve around cannibalism (that doesn’t mean that other stuff didn’t happen, it just means that that other stuff was probably really boring). So, as you can imagine, I find the idea that Alive was meant to have some sort of inspirational message a little disturbing. What exactly is it supposed to be inspiring me to do?
I’m also a little perplexed about the ellipsis between “entertain you” and “inspire you.” Now, I’m no grammar maven but that…seems incorrect. I wonder, though, if that ellipsis isn’t just another moronic use of punctuation (4 exclamation marks? Really?) but is actually indicative of something a bit more irreverent. Perhaps, that ellipsis is a subtle, (relatively) humorous nod to what actually drives people to watch this movie.
“…” = “Cannibalism”
And if that’s the case then this blurb seems to be implying three truths about human nature that I tend to agree with: (a) We, as a people, find cannibalism entertaining, (b) we’re ashamed of this and (c) we’re actually not that ashamed.