The Return Plus Some Thoughts on The Breakfast Club

Uh...hi. Remember me? I used to be this person who blogged but then I wasn't that person for a little while but now, hopefully, I'm that person again. What have I been doing? Stuff, I guess. More specifically, though, I've been sick off an on for the past couple of months. Sometimes it was just a cold. Other times it was worse. I hadn't thrown up since 2006 but this year--which is only 3 months old--I've thrown up 3 times. On one occasion, I noticed that there were, like, 10 pinto beans in my throw up, which was weird because I KNOW I chewed the beans before I swallowed them. (I'm sure you wanted to read that.) When I wasn't sick, I was writing things. If you want, you can check out some of the stuff I've done for Rookie. But if you don't want to, that's your prerogative (in the words of B. Brown and later B. Spears), and it won't change the way I feel about you. Other things that've happened:

I ate a 5lb. burrito. (And yeah, one of times that I threw up was after eating it. But that hasn't changed my views on burritos. I remain pro-burrito.)

I SAW JGL! JGL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAHHH!

Louis C.K. became my fave. Have you watched his show? If you haven't, you need to. It's way more entertaining than this blog. As a matter of fact, you should be watching Louie instead of reading whatever the hell it is that I'm writing. 

I watched every episode of Parks and Recreation on Netflix. It took, like, three weeks. But I did it. I DID IT! I'd never watched a single episode before that, if you can believe it. Oh, and do you know who's on that show sometimes? LOUIS C.K.!! The plot thickens!

"The plot thickens" became my catchphrase. "Meow" became my cat's catchphrase.

I saw this van by my house. The back of it was JACKED UP. I think someone really wanted those cookies.

Justin Bieber brought these girls some Proactiv.

Also, I re-watched The Breakfast Club for the millionth time. Do you remember this scene?

(I had to record it with my iPhone because it somehow doesn't exist on YouTube in an embeddable form. Don't sue me, Universal Studios. I love you.) First, and most importantly, it shows that Emilio Estevez is the best dancer in the history of life. 

Second, is this what's supposed to happen when you smoke weed? Third, Emilio shatters glass by screaming and NO ONE FREAKS OUT. 

No one even claps or says, "man, that was kind of awesome" or, "wow, he really hates foreign languages." So...did that even happen? Like, within the reality of the movie, did it actually occur? Is it a metaphor for marijuana and how it gives you the ability to shatter glass?? And how is it that only the glass on the door breaks? How did this scene make the final cut when it makes no sense? 

On a related note, what's with Anthony Michael Hall's voice here: 

And then here in Weird Science:

Does it make anyone else feel really uncomfortable?

That's it for now but I'm planning to post more regularly. Thanks to everyone who's still reading and sorry to everyone who was wondering where I was (this cool lady in particular). Have a nice day and here's to hoping that all of your plots thicken in an enjoyable way.

Bummer #2: Angels in the Outfield

With complete, innocent, and sort of enviable Christian sincerity, a friend of mine once told me that she'd be thrilled to finally be face-to-face with her guardian angel. As far as I'm concerned, there's no scenario where an angel just appearing out of nowhere could be anything less than 100% horrifying.

Despite the foreboding title, Angels in the Outfield is not a horror film; it's one of those heart-tugging, inspirational jobs. 


But it's also kind of a drag. 


Perhaps, not an overt or overwhelming drag like My Girl, but it definitely has it's moments. One scene specifically sticks out in my mind and, next to the phrase "it could happen," is what I associate most with this movie...


Al and his seraphim horde have "helped" the last-place California Angels advance to the division championship. When the final game starts, Al materializes in the dugout and tells Roger that the team must win this one on their own--angels apparently have a real arbitrary sense of morality. Al then serves up a delicious piece of gossip about grizzled pitcher Mel Clark--who'd been taken off the disabled list during the initial stages of the angel infestation.

Mel only has six months to live and Al delivers the news with such nonchalance, sort of sugar-coating the tragedy of it by saying that after Mel eventually succumbs to lung cancer or emphysema or whatever (Al mentions that Mel has been a smoker for years), he's going to become an angel. 


Wings are cool; not being dead is slightly cooler. 


This scene probably isn't going to make anyone cry, but still, it's a total bummer. It's also incredibly calculated, obviously meant to heighten the emotional drama and give the outcome of this championship game more weight. Al says he's dropped by to "check up on Mel." Seriously, what's he checking? I'm no expert on the subject but I'm pretty sure that angels can "check up" on people from Heaven or the 8th dimension or wherever they're from. So, why is he really there? The whole thing feels kind of contrived and plot device-y. Somehow, though, that fails to diminish my enjoyment of  Mel slow-mo catching that game-winning ball.

In spite of my usual anti-angel stance, I'm definitely pro-Angels in the Outfield. Sometimes, I suppose, it's all right to have your heart manipulated a bit by conveniently tragic plot points, if that manipulation is (a) in service of a really good finale and (b) thorough enough to spawn two direct-to-video sequels.