Why I Can't Pull This One Off: First of all, I'm not sassy enough and second of all, I don't like saying stuff that requires me to perform some complementary action. If I wanted to communicate with my hands, I'd learn sign language...or join a gang of street toughs...or become Italian.
Colloquialism Decoded: I am a very busy person and cannot afford to waste precious milliseconds of my life on "Ts,""Hs," or "Es." Rather than saying "the"/"that" I have chosen a more alphabetically economical and time efficient mode of communication.
Why I Can't Pull This One Off: I grew up in a family where everyone said "The" and "That," so to say "Da" or "Dat" (1) sounds completely affected and (2) flies in the face of genetics and the double helix and whatnot.
Colloquialism Decoded: My life has reached its pinnacle. I am somehow on television/the radio/a metaphorical and/or literal soapbox despite having no discernible talents or anything of consequence to say. But since I am here, I might as well acknowledge a few of my comrades.
Why I Can't Pull This One Off: I don't have any friends, so there's just no reason for me to ever say this.
Colloquialism Decoded: ?
Why I Can't Pull This One Off: I don't even know what this means. (Something about Indo Weed...? Waikiki...?) All I do know is that when you hear the song "I Got Five On It" at a high school dance, you're supposed to scream "Beeyotch" during the chorus for reasons unknown to me. Anyway, I'd probably end up using this one at a totally inappropriate moment, some record that I never knew was playing would then scratch abruptly, and everyone in the room would stare at me with mouths agape and heads tilted ever so slightly to the left.
Colloquialism Decoded: I'm wearing Dockers and flailing around awkwardly to one of Will Smith's wholesome hip hop ditties.
Why I Can't Pull This One Off: If the person who coined the term can barely pull it off, what hope is there for the rest of us? "Jiggy" is probably the only 90s slang word that I, a mega-dork, am actually too cool to say.
