The State

Because meta-jokes about dipping testicles into assorted things never go out of style, I—21^st century woman—spent the last couple of hours watching The State—20^th century MTV sketch comedy show—on DVD. Here are two thoughts that I thought in the midst of it all:

1. 90s jeans are yearn-worthy. They’re also yarn-worthy, whatever that means.

2. Michael Ian Black hasn’t aged. Just kidding. He totally has.

In addition to these two thoughts, I also had some other thoughts. Most were about burritos but some were about Michael Showalter. 

You see, he’s kind of a god to me. I love him because he’s funny but also because he has cat shoulders.

There’s something very quaint about Michael Showalter. If he weren’t a comedian I think he’d be a florist, specializing in rare hetero sporangium. Or a flautist, but only because that kind of sounds like florist. He’s like a sweet old man trapped in the body of a sweet not-quite-middle-aged man. Anyway, he was my favorite member of The State.

I wrote the following limerick as a tribute to the show.

The State is kinda like a pap smear,

conducted by Mr. Belvedere.

Dinga linga linga ling,

limericks really aren’t my thing,

my name’s Amber and I’m outta heeeere.

Mystic Spiral

At fourteen, I had a crush on Trent Lane. At twenty-six, I find that crush unsettling for the following reasons: (1) he was a cartoon character, so clearly, that’s just odd (especially when you consider how earnest the crush was) and (2) with his tattoos, piercings, and disheveled hair, he was obviously created with me (or girls like me) in mind. The second one bothers me more (even though the first one probably should) because it shows just how easily I’m manipulated. Trent was a total moron/freeloader but he had holes in his jeans, so I fell in love with him. More disturbing is the fact that even now, with all of these years of life and relative sanity under my belt, I’m probably still a little bit in love with him.

Toward the end of Daria’s run on MTV they introduced this Tom guy. He was rich, smart, and had a soft spot for cynical, misfit girls. He, like Trent, was drawn adorable.